Glitter Tumblr Themes




when you unzip a guys pants while he has a boner does it pop up immediately like a wack-a-mole or does it slowly rise like dracula from his coffin

neither. the penis does not exist until you summon it through a series of mystic chants and riverdancing 

i worry about the people on here sometimes


seductively unzips my onesie 


my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia

the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom


"that much diversity is unrealistic" is shithead-speak for "im uncomfortable with so little white people in this piece of media"

Reminder #1:  Food is my medicine and nourishment for my body
Reminder #2:  It is perfectly okay to eat above and beyond my mealplan.
Reminder #3:  Normal people eat more on some days. It doesn't hurt them, and it won't hurt me either.